I have done my first ever gig! I still couldn't believe it. Even though I forgot lyrics a few times (luckily they didn't notice it), I am still happy with how I performed overall. Special thanks to Zhao again for giving me this opportunity to share my music and culture with people in Australia.
In the past when I was in China, every time I sang, I always felt so nervous, especially with the accompaniment music. But why this time I could be relaxed? After some reflection, I think here is the answer.
1. My intention
I am here not for a singing competition, but to share my culture and music, because that's what brought people in.
2. A gentle reminder: I just need to be all of me instead of someone else
Thanks to all my friends who have encouraged me in the past. It was really hard to fight my self-limiting belief. Living in a traditional Chinese household, my family always told me that I was not good enough. They thought only by doing that children could improve and work harder instead of being arrogant and not trying anymore. But was that working? I don't think so. In fact, that really affected my self-esteem. Even one week ago, before my performance, when my uncle and auntie told me I was not good, my tone in each line was the same, I got really upset.
But luckily, I have Tricia, Nigel, Vicki, Aleks and Tania there to remind me that that is just their opinion. Everyone's voice is unique and different. I have my own beautiful voice, so why do I want to try to be someone else? They said:
'You are you, Qian. Remember, don't use your head to think, but to feel. Use your heart to sing. To be all of you!'
3. Piano accompaniment
This time I have a piano accompany me (thanks Ben), so I didn't need to worry about if I align with the music anymore. That gave me so many more freedoms to express my emotions and feelings toward the songs. That's why my friend Joe said when he was listening to my acapella, he could feel I use my soul to sing. We are all different. and we just need to find a way that works for us.
And of course, I have a few other things that I want to share with you too.
One interesting finding
When I saw people showing very serious faces, I got a bit impacted, thinking they might not like my singing. But when I checked with them later, they said they were just focusing on listening to and appreciating my music. See, we should never assume.
Two warm moments
I designed a lucky draw, asking the audience to write down their favourite song. One person wrote, all of them, thanks!
Zhao asked me if I wanted to teach others to sing. Wow, what a compliment.
It's been a wonderful experience and a good start. I am pleased to see I can be my truest self even in public, for example, asking for water in between my performance and having random questions for the audience. And people liked it, that made me relax. I will remember this and bring it to my next one.
Thanks so much to my friends who came to support me too! So, when is my next? A very good question that I want to know too :)