“The world is changed by your example. Not by your opinion. And for me, that just meant action. If you wanted to see action in the world, provide an example for people to follow.”
What can you do with kindness?
Kath Koschel is one of the best people to tell you the answer. As the founder of Kindness Factory, a global not for profit organisation and movement which inspires ordinary people to do extraordinary things, the Young Australian Medal and the people’s choice of Australia award winner, Kath's story is full of human connection, kindness, resilience and gratitude.
1. Bright start - perseverance
Throughout Kath's childhood, she knew her one goal, to play cricket for Australia.
Even though she was told by her coach: “We love your determination and dedication, but your natural skill and ability is a little bit lacking.”, she didn’t listen and just kept trying. Eventually, at the age of 19 Kath made it happen, handling out her first professional contract.
Because she believes:
“If you put your mind to something, anything's possible.”
My thoughts: before hearing this, I would say: "Hmm, I don't know about that." However, seeing what I am doing and experiencing, my faith in this started to grow day after day. Thanks for adding extra confirmation, Kath.
2. Close to amputation
Unfortunately one day Kath broke her back, which means she couldn’t continue her athlete career anymore. Worse still, she was told that she needed to get amputated.
The day before the surgery, her family gave her a surprise, hosting a special barbeque for her. Kath realised:
“Just because someone is in a struggle or anything like that doesn't mean that they necessarily lost their sense of humour.”
That also taught her:
"Everything would be okay as long as I surround myself with positive people and supportive networks."
3. Turning point and Kindness Factory
Luckily, in the end, Kath didn’t need to go through an amputation. Moreover, this time life offered her something sweet, she met her lover Jim at the rehab centre. However, after a year, Jim took his life, and that became the most challenging part of her life.
Kath got a complete mental breakdown. Until one day, she saw there were a pen and a blank piece of paper on a coffee table. The next minute she started to pick up the pen and write down 30 names that she wanted to thank. Then she began to call everyone.
“Of calling every single person, what I found is that the state that I was in prior to that was completely wrong.”
She felt the power of gratitude.
“If you haven't practised gratitude or if you find yourself in a struggle or even if you just want to better your life, write down three things at every single night that you're grateful for. It will take you less than two minutes, but what it does is it actually rewires your brain and sends a chemical called oxytocin. And that chemical makes you feel a lot better if you can do that (gratitude) for 12 consecutive days in a row. I can guarantee you that your frame of mind will be much more positive.”
My thoughts: I totally agree, because I experienced this too. Started my daily gratitude journal every day about a year ago, I can see I am more in tuned with tinies beauties in my life. One month ago, I introduced this small habit with my mum. We text each other our grateful moments by the end of the day via WeChat after knowing she went through some tough moments in her life. Now, I can feel more and more joys from her.
Kath also realised: "Resilience is to be around positive people."
After that, Kath determined to give back more.
In November 2015, she founded Kindness Factory. It’s about human connection and it’s like an acts of Kindness online blog. She has a goal: to encourage and inspire 1 million acts of kindness (Now it reached 1.25M).
4. Burpee Challenge
Later on, Kath met a lady called Mel. One day she asked Mel:
“What did you miss the most?”
“Doing burpees.” Mel answered.
An idea popped into Kath's mind - every $1 that the public pledge towards Mel’s organisation Limbs For Life, she will complete one burpee.
Kath shared her story in social media. Soon after that, she got excited, she was going to challenge Guinness world record (doing 10,000 a day) on the next day. However, what Kath didn’t anticipate is the following day the money went up to $300,000. Knowing she couldn’t do that, Kath started her Burpee Challenge, which marked an incredible and special day in her life.
“300 people showed up to the motel fire station that day, which they came from all around New South Wales. Some even flew in from other states. I didn’t know 200 of them.”
That taught her:
“The wonderful thing about life is that sometimes our journey is created in ways that we never thought possible.”
“Random strangers simply want to help people. And sometimes we just need to see or use an opportunity to see the good in the world. People often help if you give them permission to and if you ask them or invite them to as well.”
5. Three thoughts after another accident
Kath's back got recovered, and she even ended up qualifying for a full Ironman. However, during a bike ride, she was hit by a drunken driver.
Kath had to learn to walk again. All of these made her realise three important things in life:
Purpose (Life was full of purpose, so we need to pursue our goals and dreams.)
Choice (To be a better person than the person that we were yesterday was a choice. We should imagine what we could do and the potential that could have for everyone and the world around us.)
Accountability (We are in the driver’s seat.)
6. A moment with the drunken driver
After this accident, the hardest thing for Kath was not from her mental or physical parts, but a person - the man who hit her.
In court, he broke down in tears.
Seeing that, Kath went up to him and asked:
"Are you ok?"
"No, I am not." He answered.
Hearing that, she thought:
“What is one thing that I could help him so that he is ok?”
She and her dad ended up giving him a lift home.
Until this day, the man still hasn’t said sorry to her or thank her. What he did was only to ask her a question in the end:
“Why did you do this?”
“Your actions don't control mine, and the behaviour you've treated me doesn't mean that I have to treat you in the same way.”
Kath’s mind is so pure and simple:
“Just be the person that is always going to be proud of and to not worry about the noise that goes on around me.”
This driver is not alone, Kath’s dad couldn’t digest his daughter's mindset either.
Kath responded to her dad:
“At a young age, you actually gave me a poster: The world is changed by your example. Not by your opinion. And for me, that just meant action. If you wanted to see action in the world, provide an example for people to follow.”
“I'm so sick of turning on the news on the TV, on social media and computer. Wherever you go, we see hate. If we respond to it with more hate, and it just creates this whole world of hate. And I'm just not proud to be a part of that world.”
My thoughts: I couldn't agree more. Hates only creat hates. Why not bring out more kindness? I am really pleased to see that someone's value aligns with mine, and Kath's passion for love and kindness shines so brightly.
7. Kindness Curriculum
Kath started to work with Kaplan to develop the Kindness Curriculum for education institutions ranging from early learning centres to secondary schools. She believes that teachers, students and school communities are the essential elements in creating changes. Kids are the future, and they can teach their kids to embrace more kindness and gratitude.
8. What can we do?
Practise Gratitude and kindness through asking yourself three questions daily:
When we check with people if they are ok, remeber to have the courage to wait for the answers.
"One small act can make a really big difference. Together we’re all in this world as one, and we all have it within us to be kind to one another." I am up for this journey, are you?