Part 1
To be honest, my first few months in Adelaide were not easy.
Despite my English foundation, I still found it very frustrating in daily conversations. I couldn’t really express myself well enough so that people could easily understand me. Meanwhile, it was not easy for me to get others’ points either, due to the foreign accent and Australian slang. Sometimes, it even took so much courage for me to simply ask a person to repeat themselves. And the worst thing was, after that person repeated, I still felt puzzled. So I just smiled and pretended that I got it, because I was too embarrassed to ask them to repeat again.
So my self-esteem dropped dramatically. I chose to escape from reality, only talking to my friends and family back home every single day.
This lasted for two to three months. One day, a scene popped up into my head and it changed my life.
Once when I was a teenager on a train travelling to another city in China, I saw a foreigner. I got so excited, because finally, I could practise my spoken English in real life! Eventually, I overcame my shyness and initiated the chat with him.
"But look where I am now!"
Even though I was surrounded by different races and colours in everyday life, just because of my poor English I chose to shy away from the crowd. Ironic, isn’t it? I asked myself:
"Where is that courageous and language lover Qian?"
"Will closing myself off help me in the long-run? Is my English going to be better if I keep doing this?”
I realised I really needed to make a change. I did want to make the most of my time in Adelaide, in Australia. But how?
I recalled some people had stressed the importance of finding the methods that you feel most comfortable with. Previously, I tried to listen to the radio or watch TV episodes. But, they just didn’t work for me, as I couldn’t understand much of what was being said.
“What do I like?” I pondered.
“Ah, people interaction.”
I then finally discovered my own four key ingredients gradually for my English breakthrough recipe😉 Living in this English speaking country definitely accelerates the whole process if you are proactive enough. So what are my ingredients?
No.1 Ingredient - Moving Talk
This ingredient is very simple, but nerve-wracking at the same time. That is, to talk to people at bus stops or when I was on the bus.
“What if they feel I am so odd that they walk away and refuse to talk to me? That would be so embarrassing.”
I hesitated. Then I thought:
“We are strangers anyway. Will I lose anything? No. That’s one of the joys of living overseas for a Chinese person. I don’t need to worry about losing face. Because no one knows me.” 😊
Taking a few deep breaths, I started to initiate conversations with strangers.
Here are my three tips for you if you want to try out this too:
Pick someone who looks friendly, such as an old person.
Select a topic that you are interested in or familiar with, because that will help you to keep the conversation flowing. For me, the topics are always cultural heritage, food, restaurants or any interesting places.
Smile smile smile. A smile sets a tone and initiates trust. There’s a Chinese saying goes that, never slap over a smiling person.
One comforting fact for you, I didn’t have any rejections. Instead, I had so many interesting conversations. It's like a mini world, opened my horizon and helped me to see the world through different lenses.
Story Time
Reflecting back, what is the easiest conversation for me to start?
It must be the one I had with a person carrying a guitar.
"Which music genre do you like?" As a music lover myself, it was so easy to initiate the conversation. But later, something he raised struck me.
"Could you tell me the music from your country? I've always wanted to ask a Chinese person. But it was too hard."
"How so?"
"Because I noticed you tend to go out together as a group, so for me as an individual, it's very intimidating to approach you."
"Oh, even for a guy, to initiate a conversation is not easy. But I am doing It. " I thought. It made me feel proud of myself :) Also, it's great to know people are interested in my culture. That also made me realise sometimes I not only represent myself, but also my country. I should strive to be great at everything I do then 😊
Some conversations helped me notice my own strengths and break a stereotype.
I've had quite a few similar conversations like this:
“Where are you from?”
“China.”
“How long have you been here?”
“Only a few months, and I am here to study.”
“Did you know anyone here when you first came?”
“No.”
“Wow. You are so brave as well as your parents. I would be so worried to send my children to study overseas.”
Hearing that surprised me. Because I was told in media that western parents are generally very tough. They throw their children out of their house once they turn 18. That’s one of my purposes coming to Australia too. I want to see the world, to discover Australia with my own fresh eyes, ears and heart. How exciting 😊
A bus stop is also a perfect place to ask some of my burning questions too.
For example, in China, we tend to be so intrigued to talk to a person from other countries. But here, it seems not the case. My friends and I used to hope that local students could approach us first, but this rarely happened. Why?
When I saw a friendly girl waiting at the bus stop, I started to chat with her. After confirming that she is a university student too, I asked my question.
“It has never come to my mind because I don't feel they are different and don't want them to feel they are different either. We are a multicultural nation, and I've seen so many races when I grew up. Also, I don't want to offend them if I said something wrong.”
Ah, that explained why. So as international students, we do need to be proactive to initiate conversations if we want to improve English.
In addition, it's a great storytelling place too.
Whenever I met the elderly, I was so curious to find out what they did before.
I still remembered that gentleman, he was so willing to share with me his life stories.
“I used to be a hairdresser for so many years. I loved it, because it’s so rewarding.” His eyes beamed with excitement.
“Some people's looks changed completely because of you.” He continued. “But my career changed after an earthquake. I started to sell hair products. I did it so well that I've never got the chance to do hair cutting anymore. I missed that.”
Hmm, to have a job that you thoroughly enjoy. How does it feel like? I want to experience that feeling. I planted this seed in my dream garden.
Besides, I even received a pleasant surprise after a bus conversation😊
One day, when I got off my usual bus, two girls came along and asked: “You are a university student studying here too?”
“Yes, but how did you know?” I was shocked.
“We overheard your conversation on the bus.”
We ended up walking and chatting along. One of the two girls Joanne and I even became good friends ever since. What a wonderful encounter 😊
Joanne is from Malaysia, and she can speak some Mandarin too. But she suggested: “Let’s speak in English for our own good in the long term. Also, it is a more inclusive act in public if any non-Chinese person wants to join our conversation.”
What a unique but wise perspective! Deal! Another lesson learned.
If you think talking at the bus stop still sounds too scary for you, then try to talk to a stranger when you are using a service. For example, when you are having your haircut at a salon or choosing a gift for your friend at a shop. Be creative and adjust when you need to. 😊
In the next serial, I am going to reveal my other three ingredients. Stay tuned :) If you have any feedback or any great English learning tip, welcome to share with me.