“The majority view is not always right. If you don't think like them, the reason could be either you may already ahead of them, or you just think differently which can bring a different angle. It's not better or worse. It's just different, and you can be different.”
Christine Yeung is a former international student, a workplace psychologist, a social innovator, and the founder and CEO of Beyond Story. Therefore, I invited her to one of our Zoom webinars recently to seek her advice on how to deal with disconnection, an issue faced by many of our students via studying online. However, through the session, I found her personal story about her career and the challenges she went through is also worth sharing. I believe many international students will relate to that and benefit from it.
First, let’s find out a bit more about Christine’s own company Beyond Story and why this cause is so important to her. About Beyond Story
For Christine, being a person who experienced mental health issue herself, noticed that many current mental health services do not focus on the full spectrum but only the end part. For her, that’s just not enough. She wanted to be a change maker.
Also, for the name ‘Beyond Story’, there is a great meaning behind: bringing out the best in people. “You are not solely defined by your cultural norm, gender or your social role. You need to look past all these conditions to know who you really are. We forget about it as we grow up.”
Now let’s turn back the clock to 18 years ago when Christine was still an International student. Her First Job and Hear the Difference
After hearing she was the only Asian in her company, I interrupted her. I wanted to find out how she got the job and the things that made her ticked. I know, employment is a hot topic for many of you, international students.
She got it through her placement. By the end of her placement, Christine was told that she could work for the company when finished her degree.
In terms of the reasons, she thought of a few main factors below:
The initiative of doing things differently.
The willingness to learn.
Have the grit. “If I make a mistake, I will think about how I can do better next time, and I will do extra.”
“Have a thick skin.”
For example, let’s look at how she dealt with the English barrier (a challenge that many of you face).
Her boss told her that everything she did was so well except her English. If you hear that, what would you feel?
For Christine, she could see her boss’s intention was not personal. She saw he even commented on his own English that he needed someone to check his grammar. Therefore, when he told her to read a newspaper every day, Christine did, digitally but happily. She could feel her improvement, at least in the confidence level after consistently doing that for a few months.
I really resonated with that. A lot of times, it’s so easy for us to take criticism personally. For instance, I used to be told that my writing was not professional enough many times. At first, I got very upset.
“This is something that I can share with international students. It’s important to learn to hear the difference. Do not compromise if someone make you feel less. Call it out. But if a genuine manager or employer knows your potential, and comments on your English, you have to really listen to the person.”
Christine continued: “But back then, still, I compromised a lot too because of my confidence as being an international student. However, wisdom comes as you have more experience.” The Biggest Challenge and Her Aha Moment
Not many people knew a very challenging time for Christine was when she had to face the fact of being different.
Being the only Asian in her company back then,
“I think, act, and sound differently compared to all my colleagues”.
Therefore, she used to choose not to express her opinions during her team meetings, because hers were very different from a majority view. Thus, she didn’t feel safe to speak them out.
Not only that, Christine even went through the mental thing. Firstly, she wanted to fit in (compromised too much), and then she got resentful (being completely indifferent). It took her a long time to be comfortable about just being her, in her own skin.
However, a moment changed her journey completely, her aha moment.
It happened when Christine got the first open recognition from her boss.
“Christine, well done! You are amazing!” Her boss said that to everyone. That was when she challenged him in front of the chair of the board and defend her entire team and their product. “I think it tied to my Chinese collective culture. You can say things about me, but not about my team. I just felt if I did’t defend, I would let my whole team down.”
However, initially, she thought she was too fiery that she would lose my job. “But no, this is what they called initiativeness and assertiveness here. From that moment, I knew how my culture interplays and I can be different.”
Christine added: “The majority view is not always right. The reason that you don't think like them could because you may already ahead of them, or you just think differently, which can bring a different angle. It's not better or worse. It's just, different.” So, let’s embrace our differences and let them shine. Tips for Other International Students
Is there anything that she wishes she knew when she was a uni student? I wondered.
Yes, two things.
Try different things, even they may make you feel uncomfortable.
For example, to mingle with domestic students. Christine said she didn’t even try, that’s why the cultural shock was so huge when she started her first job. “This is something that I wish someone could have told me back then”. She didn’t even think of doing that. It’s our natural instinct. When we first arrive in a new country, we want to feel a sense of belonging, so we search for similarity.
But Christine stressed: “Do not force yourself to do that, and it doesn’t mean that you are less so you have to mingle with the better people. Just to get to know them better. If a domestic student is not interested, then forget about it. But at least give it a try.”
Think a bit longer.
This is something that Christine always tell international students. What’s your long-term goal? To build a life here or just want to finish study and go home? If your answer is the former, you not only need to focus on preparing for a job, but also thinking about friends, because friends are family when you are in a foreign country alone. Also, think about the type of life that you want to engage in, such as nature, experience, and culture. When you learn the local culture, also remember to share your own culture, such as bringing your friends for yum cha. I totally agree with that. Whenever I introduced my culture to my friends here, they loved it. So, are you giving and taking? Of course, studying is critical too. But do not focus on that only and forget to live. Yes, this is an opportunity that not many people have, so enjoy and cherish your life while you study here. In part two, Christine put her psychologist’ hat on and shared with us her previous struggle and easy tips to cope with the disconnection problem that many students are facing during Covid-19. Also, you will know: why connecting with yourself is as important as connecting with others. See you soon.